Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ay Up Lights (Customer Complaint?)

I get to process anywhere upwards of 80 emails a day. This customer complaint arrived from New Zealand this afternoon. I felt it necessary to share it.

Quote from some crazy Kiwi...

Hi to the Ay Up Team.

I wish to complain about the light system I have just received.

Firstly: when the courier bloke arrived and I signed for the delivery I thought there was some kind of mistake. The package was so small and light that it must have been the first of 4 or 5 packages, so after 20 minutes of nagging the courier … I was wrong.... You Aussies need to stop this king of practical joke and make a decent 5kg light system like your competitors.

Secondly: Us Kiwis are used to carrying around 8kg lead acid motorbike batteries while riding. The Ay Up batteries weigh less than the light cables on my old system. This is ridiculous. How am I expected to do weight training while riding? Mate- I don't know how you did it but I’m the laughing stock of the Wednesday night ride bunch – with my small bulge in my bike top.

Thirdly: These lights need a warning. They are way too bright, it’s downright dangerous. I know that Kiwis go around in the dark with their heads in the ground, but you need to make a special Kiwi version with one tenth the light output. I have been wearing welding goggles while night riding just to make things tolerable. When riding on the road I have caused 3 car crashes by blinding oncoming traffic, and that was 5km away. I’m thinking of using the lights as laser cutters to burn through steel they are so bright. Half our nocturnal wildlife has become extinct through starvation as it never gets dark enough at night with these lights being used. The local conservation core is outraged. I’ve lost my job and my girlfriend has left me because I have developed a sleeping disorder due to confusion over what is night and what is day. I will be sending the bill to you once my eyesight has returned to normal.

Lastly: Then there is the lights themselves. When I undid the packaging the light was so small that the wind blew it onto the ground and it became lost through the cracks in the deck. I had to rent an electron microscope to find it again. This has caused significant cost and embarrassment. The light is so small it actually fell through the vent in my bike helmet and became lost in my hair, requiring a knit comb to recover it. The light on my handle bar is smaller than my bike computer. Please rectify this problem. I suggest using some of those XXXX beer cans as the light body would be better.

I hope this valuable feedback will enable you to produce a New Zealand version of the Ay Up light system.

I would be more than happy providing feedback on your future designs.

Yours

Max R.

p.s Great Lights.

It made my day, week, month...

4 comments:

Rach said...

awesome complaint.

Brad Toomeys Cycling Journey said...

Thats awesome!!!
Just made my day!

Declan! said...

Dammit! I just got AYUPs. I dont want them now.

MattDogTraining said...

Happy Birthday Declan!